Should I have sex for money?

"From 200 Som up" - By men who offer sex for money

Bishkek's night clubs and the Kyrgyz Internet are full of sex offers for all tastes. You can't just pay for one night with a woman - men are just as active in offering their services for money. Male sex workers tell us about unusual clients, prices and problems with the police. We take over the article from with the kind permission of the editors.

The names have been changed for security reasons.

Photographs of male prostitutes from Thailand from Yvision were used for illustration.

Marat: "Getting excited is pointless - you just have to endure it"

Marat has been sleeping with men and women for money for four years. During this time he began to take care of his body intensively: he trained his abdominal muscles, looked after his skin, made a fashionable hairstyle, shaved the sides short. All to please the clients, because sex is his main source of income.

Marat doesn't see himself as gay, transsexual, or bisexual. Nevertheless, he sleeps with both men and women. Sometimes men ask him to dress like a woman - he does that too.

Prostitution to finance your studies

He began to sell his body so as not to be a mess for the family - he didn't want to ask his parents for money while he was a student.

Only his closest friends know how he makes a living. For everyone else, he's an ordinary student who sometimes makes a little extra money as a model. Marat doesn't think prostitution is a bad thing. It's just his livelihood.

However, his job is not without its risks. In the world of prostitution there are no guarantees of physical, moral or material integrity. It also happens that clients “just don't pay and put off until later”.

And of course they don't pay later either. “They just send me away with the statement that I won't be paid. There is no way out, you have to live with that. There's no point in getting upset because you're afraid of getting into trouble, ”he says.

Drugs and alcohol numb the reluctance

Marat doesn't want to earn his living with prostitution in the long run. Nobody in this job makes it into old age. He can already feel that his lifestyle is having a negative impact. His earnings are quickly spent: under such working conditions one often starts to drink too much and to take drugs.

"You could of course do without it, but then it is simply not possible to fight the inner resistance to the wishes of the customers." And he adds that most customers do not have an all-too-appealing appearance.

Blackmail by police officers is the order of the day

According to Marat, this is the job for transsexuals and transgender people the hardest: They are most often blackmailed by police and other law enforcement officers. For police officers, these are additional earnings made easy. Just a threat: "Your relatives will find out," and the prostitutes have no choice but to obey them.

But even simple prostitutes - both women and men - are often blackmailed.

“Your main condition: We should pay. There is no particular hatred on their part for our address. Everything is actually very simple: Either you serve everyone [police officers] or you pay, ”says Marat, with a shrug.

He's used to blackmail and threats. As a prostitute, he has nowhere to look for protection, all the more since his relatives have not the faintest idea where and how he earns his money.

Dima: "The payment depends on the customer's imagination"

Dima is a transvestite. He has long, well-groomed hair, a narrow waist, and is thin - so much so that you could mistake him for a young girl from behind.

He's been offering sex services for men "not that long" - around two years. Dima started sleeping with men for money after meeting another sex worker. They met and then he offered to take customers.

“With us, people go into prostitution on their own: They just start offering themselves like a commodity. This not only applies to boys, but also to girls. In the beginning, it seems like money made easy, ”he says.

Dima thinks that if you don't want to “offer yourself”, you can easily find prostitutes in many of Bishkek's nightclubs, get to know them and then look for clients through them. In his estimation, prostitutes can be found in almost every nightclub in town.

There are always interested parties

Another way to find clients is through social networks or special forums. There it is enough to publish a few photos or an advertisement - interested parties can always be found.

He himself, admits Dima, uses the “services of a mother”, that is, a more experienced prostitute. She also finds customers for him.

“The prices are usually from 200 Som upwards (approx. € 2.70, editor's note), depending on the status of the sex worker. Of course there are also some who charge 1000 Som for the night (approx. € 13.70, editor's note). For example, I sometimes get more. Everyone has their price, and most of the time the payment also depends on the client's imagination, you understand? ”Dima also adds that there are also“ dollar prostitutes ”in Bishkek, but they work on a completely different level.

A work that is not without risk

He tries to be affectionate to his customers, but that doesn't always save them from inconvenience. Being a prostitute is a dangerous job. Once an ordinary visit for Dima ended in a knife fight. The customer first injured him with the knife and then fled.

“Such work is not exactly harmless: There are customers who don't understand themselves. Book a sex worker, have sex, and after they come - to put it casually - a hatred of the other person develops in them. Then it can't just be that they strike, sometimes they really attack and beat you up, ”he says.

Sex Workers and Partnerships

Almost casually, Dima mentions that one should not think that all prostitutes are lonely: many have partners and do not even hide from them what they are doing. But they only tell part of the truth so as not to destroy the relationship.

“If this is a transgender female prostitute, then she's telling her significant other about an active role. So as not to diminish the partner's ego.

In general, prostitution is particularly common among transgender and bisexual people, ”explains Dima.

Sex workers don't like civil servants. While these are frequent clients, the prostitutes loathe their hypocritical manner. The majority of them advocate traditional family values ​​on television while having "several permanent playmates" themselves.

Amir: "It turns them on when you take their wives"

Amir has three rings in her right ear and two piercings on her tongue. He is tall and has a dark complexion. His frizzy hair is a special feature and he is obviously aware of this and does not cut it too short.

He's bisexual. Can be used in social networks via anonymous ads. For an hour he takes 1500 Som (approx. € 20.50, editor's note): If the customer is pleasant, he accepts an extension.

Amir carefully selects his customers and prefers to meet foreigners: “They are mostly wealthy people over thirty”.

"You can get famous in this business"

"You can become famous in this business when you are 20 to 30 years old, if you are well-groomed, if you do sports and if you know people," says Amir. Then he adds: “You have to have thick skin” to work in the sex business.

His first experience in this area was "somewhat unusual": He was invited by a married swinger couple (people who practice group sex with partner switching).

Most of the time, he takes on assignments for sex with multiple partners. He prefers MFM (man-woman-man), MFF (man-woman-woman) and BDSM. When asked about interesting customers, Amir tells us that in the four years he has worked in the sex business, he has often dealt with cuckolds - men with unusual fetishes.

“Such guys are called cuckolds. It turns them on when you take their wives. In principle, you don't even have to participate: you just watch and enjoy. Of course, the situation is a bit uncomfortable for you, but you have to overcome that and do your job, ”he says.

Amir is now 24 years old. He dreams of opening his own escort agency in Kyrgyzstan. For this he is already saving money and he hopes that in Kyrgyzstan there will be a neutral attitude towards sex professions in the future.

Insar: "There are no more loyal husbands"

Insar doesn't really stand out from the outside: it's small and sturdy. "An average worker" is how you can describe him. Nevertheless, new orders are constantly being received on his phone via Internet advertisements - not less often than with other Gigolos.

He is straight, around 30 years old. He is a family man and only earns something out of sexual interest. Despite being married and having children, Insar meets with women who call in response to the advertisements.

“I am married and have children, but unfortunately my temperament is too strong for my wife. That's why I try not to torment her and meet other women ”. Insar adds that there are practically no loyal husbands these days - everyone cheats.

A year ago, out of curiosity, he published an advertisement on the Internet, to which several women immediately replied. He spent the first night with a married couple - the husband wanted Insar to sleep with his wife in front of his eyes.

"It is very important to have experience"

Insar believes that the most important thing in his job is to be aware of the risks and to only meet with customers on your own territory. For this he usually chooses a hotel room. If the customer seems suspicious to him, he can also reject a booking completely.

“It is very important to have experience in this job. And to be skilled with the tongue. A small limb is not a problem if you use everything else correctly, ”says Insar.

He can also report strange experiences. He once lost his condom while having sex with a woman. The woman was so busy that they just carried on.

Another time he met a woman but was unable to comply with her request. “She wanted to fuck me with a strap-on. I'm straight, and passive anal sex isn't mine. In spite of everything, we have a choice with our customers - just like they do with us, ”he concludes.

Doctor: "A lot can be cured without any problems"

The urologist and sexopathologist Mirlan Ajbaschew cannot tell much about his customers due to the confidentiality obligation. But he does not hide the fact that men from this professional field have to struggle mainly with internal injuries and rough treatment.

According to Aybashev, everyone comes for checkups and almost anything can be cured. "The problems [of the sex workers] are mostly the usual ones - inflammations and infections that heal well," he says.

"If people were better off economically, they wouldn't sell their bodies"

The sexopathologist is of the opinion that the phenomenon of prostitution itself is a consequence of the dire situation of the Kyrgyz economy. The majority of jobs are not in demand - and so there is no job that can employ these young men and guarantee them a steady income.

"If the country were better developed, people wouldn't have to sell their bodies and then let them heal them," he says.

Civil rights activist: "Police officers find it easy to find relatives and acquaintances"

Sex workers often turn to civil rights activist Michail Wilenski: They are arrested by police officers who regularly raid Bishkek nightclubs.

“They do not know what to do in the situation when they drive to a customer and the police are waiting for them there. How can you help? I always recommend to them: wait until you are let go and give money. The official reason for the arrest is hooliganism, ”he says.

Regular blackmail

According to him, the main goal of the police officers is to get the sex workers to pay. For them, it's a kind of extra income. Some prostitutes withhold their work from their relatives so that the police can blackmail them. The same thing happens with transgender sex workers.

“It is easy for the police to find out who relatives and acquaintances [of the sex workers] are. If the prostitutes resist, they will be beaten. They are required to pay or process the amount, ”says Wilenski.

Referring to the experiences of other civil rights activists in Kyrgyzstan, Wilenski adds that there used to be fewer prostitution arrests than there are today, and that sex workers could even look for customers on central streets.

The current “witch hunt” with constant arrests and punishments only started last summer, said Wilenski.

Police officers have been making illegal arrests of prostitutes for about six months. “There used to be no such thing, so the boys and girls could work in peace,” he says.

Police: No raids and extortion cases

The press spokesman of the GUWD (Glawnoje Uprawlenije Vnutrennjch Del, dt. Central Administration of the Interior) Bishkek Olschobay Kazakbaew was astonished by the questions of the correspondent of regarding the men who offer sex services for money.

According to him, the police do not carry out raids, nor are there any blackmail cases against male prostitutes. He also received no official reports with information on this.

“I don't even know, raids on male prostitutes - there weren't any. If someone is arrested in night clubs, it is for hooliganism, ”said Kazakbaev.

Psychologist: "Like everyone else, you are part of society"

Being a call boy is dangerous - and not just because of possible sex diseases or blackmail by the police. Psychotherapist Anna Orduli believes that sex workers may also face psychological problems.

Prostitution not only makes people physically numb, but also leads to problems in the partnership. Due to the frequency of rape of sex workers, people in this profession are often suspicious, unconfident and suicidal.

High risk of being raped as a sex worker in Kyrgyzstan

“In Kyrgyzstan, rape of sex workers is much more common than, for example, in European countries. And the forms of rape are really serious: from abuse to torture to individual cases of murder of girls and boys ”.

Because of this, and also because of the amount of sexual relationships, people stop feeling. Orduli believes that paranoia and depression in sex workers are not just superficial - they suffer in part from deep problems that are not so easily cured. This is also due to the fact that prostitutes often did not have an easy life before. Perhaps these people have suffered a great deal of suffering and pain in childhood and many simply have no other choice.

“These people are traumatized, but they are not dangerous to the general public. The majority of them rehabilitate themselves over time ”.


In the Russian original on

Translated from Russian by Katharina Kluge