What makes a person angry

10 tricks to properly deal with people who are angry

Being angry is frowned upon in modern society. Many people are therefore not used to discussing their negative feelings or even showing them, and therefore do not know how to express these emotions correctly. But unresolved anger and aggression mean stress that can put a lot of emotional strain on you.

Psychologists have been dealing with this problem for years. And you too can make your contribution and help your closest friends and family members to deal with their anger properly by reacting competently to their aggression with a few clever and effective tricks.
It doesn't matter whether their anger at you is legitimate or not: the methods are the same.

1. Control your own emotions.

As soon as you allow an anger to grasp you that the other person already has under control, you become vulnerable. Do your best not to mirror an angry person's emotions and keep your mind open and calm. This is the only way you can get out of the conflict without getting hurt yourself.

2. Remain friendly during an argument.

When a person gets angry, it's not their fault - their emotional state is responsible. Try to be kind to the person and help him or her resolve the problem and deal with the negative emotions. A sentence like "I want to help you" is often wrong. In conflict situations, it is better to put your own pride aside and focus on understanding the common problem.

3. Save yourself your excuses.

In an argument, it doesn't matter what you say in defense at the moment because the overall situation is just too emotional. Rather, focus on making the person relax again. Only then is your interlocutor ready to listen to you properly and to accept excuses or reasons.

4. Don't be afraid to be wrong.

Don't think you're correct just because you haven't given in to your emotions. There's no shame if your opinion turned out to be wrong by the end of the conversation. Be prepared that your pride may be hurt and that you will have to apologize and correct your mistake, even if you were confident at the beginning of the argument.

5. Understand the problem.

Often times, a very emotional person cannot identify the cause of their anger. She says a lot of superfluous things and gets lost in her own emotions and thoughts. In order to solve the problem and to calm the other person, it is important to look at everything as rationally as possible. The best strategy is to ask specific questions and clearly repeat the person's answers to help them. However, you should only repeat the most important parts so that she can think more clearly again.

6. Don't pretend to be without feelings.

Don't try to pretend you don't care. It's a good thing when you've really managed to keep calm and control the situation. But it's a whole different story when you're already hurt and angry. If you try to distance yourself from the arguing situation, it will only make the other person angrier.

7. Don't put yourself above the other person.

Anger is one of the most destructive and stressful emotions. If the person you are talking to gets angry, it doesn't mean that he is a worse person than you, just that he is feeling worse right now. The first thing you should want in a situation like this is to help him or her deal with your feelings. Don't try to put yourself above the other person: this behavior is even more destructive than being angry.

8. Ask directly what would improve the situation.

The question “What can I do?” Can be very reassuring. It is a signal of trust and sincerity and shows your desire to solve the problem. In addition, it really helps to understand the problem as quickly, productively and rationally as possible.

9. Don't be pushy.

If the person you are speaking to is so angry that they cannot properly notice you, sit back and wait for them to calm down. As long as the two of you are not ready to admit the mistake, if there is one, and communicate on an equal footing, you should give each other space. Trying to solve a problem before both of you are ready is always a bad idea.

10. Aim to solve the problem.

When someone is mad at you, it's always an issue that affects both of you. So your main goal should be to solve this problem. Try to be as clear and impartial as possible about the reason for the conflict. This way, you can narrow down the cause of the anger and help the person you're talking to understand themselves better. Clarifies every single point! What happened? What was wrong with that? What did your counterpart expect?

Everyone deals with emotions differently. But when there is an argument, the emotions on both sides boil up and unsightly things can be said. It is therefore important to remain objective and to try to calm down quickly in order to be able to adequately solve the problem.

You can also find out in the following articles how you can better deal with conflicts and which problems negative feelings can cause in the body:

Thumbnail: © Flickr / Luke Addison