What is a dominatrix relationship

If a man is naturally submissive, he will likely soon find a woman who will take advantage of this behavior. Now, however, most men are who chic submissions Want to be under the power of a woman, of a different kind. They are usually not typical “losers”, rather they thirst to relinquish power and surrender mentally and physically to a woman who is weaker than herself.

Hardly any woman admits to wanting sexual role play

That bothers most women who seek relationships. Sexual, psychological and physical dominance does not appear in the five-factor model, nor in the kind of description women like to give of themselves. In fact, even a woman who dreams of dominating games would hardly present herself as an erotic role-player. As a rule, the following applies when getting to know each other: Do not express any sexual ideas that deviate from the norm, especially not on the first three dates.

The avid man's dilemma

For example, a gentleman with submissive inclinations writes in a forum:

Of course, I talked to my ex-girlfriends about it, but they found it very repulsive. Don't get me wrong - I want a completely normal relationship and I tend to have different kinds of things.

A completely normal relationship that is not entirely normal now and then, but is sexually characterized by submission, devaluation, pain and beatings - that does not fit into the image of most “good” citizens.

On the other hand, there is the objection that everything is allowed in bed - including restraints and blows, if it gives you pleasure. After all, couples want to forget each other completely during sex, not to think about what a “good girl” or a “good boy” would do there.

So when it comes to really ecstatic sex, the step from TV evening to lottery bed is always characterized by a change of role.

The switch between "being a wife" and "being a dominatrix"

So why not exciting role-playing games without a bed? Those in which the nerves are strained to the limit?

The answer lies buried somewhere in the psyche, where the switch sits between reality and play. Normally you can't just “kill” him, you have to have a moment to grow into the role - if you want to play roles at all. I suspect: Most wives don't want men to be consciously submissive because they don't master the role of the dominant woman or don't want to accept it - not for moral or sexual reasons.

Talent for acting replaces sexual inclination

So it is - at least that is the assumption - the "alternative role-play" that induces wives and, by the way, husbands as well, or prevents them from trying out "the harder varieties" of pleasure. Those who love acting, who can put themselves fully into a role and stage a situation perfectly, can also perform extreme erotic role-plays perfectly. So it is above all the acting talent, not the own inclination, that can seduce a wife into transforming herself into a dominatrix.

Strikes alone don't mean anything - it's the way they're given

An example can be used to illustrate the difference:

For years, a husband dreamed of being extremely whipped by his wife - but he had never realized it. One day he persuaded his wife to hit him - and was completely disappointed because he only felt the pain, but not the excitement he had imagined. In fact, however, the scenario was missing: a specific role assignment, the verbal humiliation, being naked in the presence of a clothed woman and, above all, the act of being helplessly exposed to the blows of a woman.

Clearly separate everyday life - then the dominatrix game succeeds

If the wife is to become a dominatrix, she must above all have a talent for consistent role-play - and clearly differentiate everyday life from the role of the dominatrix. It is advisable to play the game in a special room where neither the doorbell nor the phone disturbs and to give each other alternative names. If the room is equipped with the right “furniture” from the outset, it usually arouses the submissive part as soon as you enter the room. If you don't have this exclusive opportunity, more energy usually has to be invested in verbal attunement to the punishment.

Whoever wants to be subjugated does not belong in the "scene"

A question that particularly affects those looking for a partner: Should one now, as is sometimes suggested, visit a SM round table in order to find a “relevant” partner?

Hardly - the SM round tables have their own philosophy, which often contains certain sectarian elements. After all, the goal of normal relationships is not to be sexually dominated - rather, the goal is to have a perfectly normal marriage that is economically and socially intact. The dominance is just the icing on the cake. When SM dominates the relationship, one bridles the horse "relationship" from the wrong side.
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